A Elderly gentleman had an appointment to see his urologist who happened to share a secretary with with several other doctors.  When he got there he saw the waiting room was filled with patients.

As he approached the receptionist’s desk,   he saw that she was a voluptuous,  unfriendly woman who looked like  she could beat a Sumo wrestler.  He politely let her know his name to confirm that he was there to see his Dr. The receptionist looked at her computer and replied in a very loud voice, “YES, I HAVE YOUR NAME HERE, YOU WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR ABOUT YOUR IMPOTENCE, RIGHT?”

All the patients in the waiting room quickly turned their heads around to look at the very embarrassed man.

The man quickly, and in an equally loud voice replied, “NOPE, I’M HERE TO INQUIRE ABOUT THE SEX CHANGE OPERATION, BUT PLEASE I’D RATHER NOT HAVE THE SAME DOCTOR THAT DID YOURS.”

A man’s wife asks him to go to the local store to buy some Marlboro light cigarettes. So he walks down to the local store only to find it closed. He then decided to go to the bar across the street to see if they had cigarettes there. At the bar he sees a beautiful italian girl checking him out, so he decides to go talk to her. A few bottles of wine later they end up in her apartment.

After having lots of fun there, he realizes its 3AM and said to the girl, “OMG, its so late, my wife’s going to kill me.
you got any baby powder?” She gives him some powder, which he rubs on his hands and then heads home. Reaching home he sees his wife standing in the doorway mad as hell.

Wife : “Where the hell have you been?”

Husband: “Well, honey, as you know you asked for some Marlboro Light’s, so I went to the local store, but they were closed. So I went to the bar across the street to see if they had some. There I saw this great looking Italian chick checking me out. We had a few glasses of wine and one thing led to another and I ended up sleeping with her.”

Wife: “Oh yeah? Let me see your hands!”

She sees his hands all covered with powder and… “You God damn liar!! You went bowling again!!”

” I  was in the Bar the other day eating rice and beans, when i realized that i had to fart

Since led zepplin was really really loud, i thought that if i timed my farts with the music beats

I could get away with it.  So thats what i did  ! After a few songs, i was all set .

I looked up from the book that i was reading to see everyone staring at me.

Thats when i realized that i had been listening to music on my ipod ! ”

Hope you enjoyed this joke. I’ll add new one’s every week. If you have a joke you’d like to share with everyone, go ahead and email it to me  or just post it in the comments.